How can I create a community of radical existence by exploring my own chronic shame through interactive art? In this project, I designed an interactive installation that invited participants to engage in an act of expansive recognition through my own insights surrounding shame and worthiness.
I experience paralyzing shame and social anxiety. In my healing journey, I’ve stopped pathologizing this feeling, realizing that my shame is a rational response to being blamed for existing in a system that excludes me. I started researching more of these systems and how they impact others to deepen my understanding of my relationship with shame. I learned the ways in which governments and corporations spread messages that blame individuals for the flaws of a system we have no control over. We’re holding ourselves to impossible standards to make up for our broken world, and we project those standards onto other people, enforcing this culture of shame. Though my initial goal was to heal my relationship with myself, I realized that my healing is intrinsically connected with the healing of my interpersonal relationships and communities. In my senior capstone, I sought to create a culture of expansive recognition so we may free ourselves and those we interact with from the misplaced shame that we hold.
I collected secondary research to identify the large-scale trends and systemic pressures that contributing to a shame-based culture. I conducted self-ethnography to observe what I feel on a daily basis and what triggers feelings of shame. I collected responses from the community to identify who they believe suffers from shame in our society.
By using data triangulation, I discovered these key insights: Shame doesn’t inspire change. It causes isolation and despair. Shame incorrectly blames individuals for large-scale problems that are out of their control. Embracing our own imperfections that connect us to the rest of humanity can move us toward a state of expansive recognition.
This project is a celebration of self-love drowning out the harmful messages I’ve internalized from the world. I created the main piece by manipulating letterpress-printed assets on Adobe Photoshop. Down the sides of the piece in light blue are pejorative labels that our society applies to people like me, especially considering my neurodivergent and multicultural identities. I then placed plexiglass on top of the design and invited participants to write words or phrases on top of the glass that remind them of their own inherent worthiness. In this way, the pink self-affirming words physically and symbolically block out the shame-based labels I used to believe about myself.
My project challenged me to reflect on the shame I experience. In addition, I engaged my community by creating a space to write words that affirm their inherent worthiness and read the words of others. More than thirty people physically made their mark on my piece. If I had more space, I would let viewers make letterpress prints of their chosen self-affirming words and stick them on my piece. I would also use vellum for both my illustration and the interactive bits so one can see the different layers simultaneously.
© Lorena Ianiro 2023
.png){kind=spacer}